Vampires*

Once upon a time there was a house. The house was in need of some interior design. The owner of the house decided that, since her and her husband were quite busy and her children should grow up in a decorated house, she would ask her niece to do it for her. Now, when she had asked her niece to do this, she'd forgotten that the niece had little to no sense of fashion, and dressed all in black. I'm sure one can guess what this led to. When the owner of the house came home one day, all of her walls were BLACK!! The first thing she thought of was that black is a slimming color. Her children liked the walls, and since black is very hard to paint over, the walls stayed a raven hue. One day however, one of the kids, a little boy of about seven, asked if he could sleep in a box. This led to one thing after another, and soon the whole family was sleeping in long, narrow boxes. One great advantage was that they no longer had large house payments!! Soon neighbors started disappearing. The mother thought nothing of it, and even enjoyed the lower and lower grocery bills each week. Soon, however, the other neighbors began to notice the strange goings on at the house. They reported it to the police who looked into it and soon after arrested the family. The mother used the money she had saved on groceries to get a lawyer. When it came time for the trial however, the lawyer was frustrated and confused, and quit, as he realized something was very wrong and he wanted to be no part of it. On the day of the trial, the family was quite hungry. Since they didn't want to be put in jail, they just ate the judge. The bailiffs, having suffered budget cuts of late, had had their guns replaced with wooden sticks, and were no match for the revived family. They got away and lived happily ever after.

*Vampires are NOT real!! Just so you know.

This story was inspired by an IM conversation with Shannon. Much thanks!!