The Things One Learns...

Once upon a time...or at least, once...I went bowling. When I got home I got on IM and talked to Pete. Upon hearing my score, 63, he was appalled and said he'd hafta teach me how 2 do better. Since Pete, John, and I had been throwing around the idea of hanging out for quite some time, it was decided we would go bowling. This was quite awhile back, and tonight it FINALLY happened.

We met at the bowling alley on Leonard Street across from some auto parts place at 7. Actually, due to some discrepancy at my house as to what my plans were, I didn't arrive until 7:13 on my clock, and felt bad for being late. Come to find out Pete and Heather were late too. They got there even later than I did!! Once there they mocked me about my van...the AUDACITY!! So around 7:20 John, Pete, Scarlett, Gordon, Lindsay, me, Heather and Kris all entered the bowling place. We went upstairs (it has two floors) and found it empty. Happy we got the floor to ourselves, we got shoes and bowling balls. Mine was a copper one if anyone was interested. It was at this point that I learned thing number one, Pete can't spell names for anything!! Heather was spelled without an a, Lindsay with a y and an e, and Kris with a Ch. Once all this was figured out, and I was set up as Eriker to my disgruntlement, we began to bowl.

Scarlett and I made a bet, during which I learned thing number two, Scarlett is really a better bowler than I, but not by much. I owe her 25 cents now!! The number three thing I learned was that bowling alleys are very loud and normally it takes FOREVER for them to play any songs you might pick out of the little music picker thingie. AND they don't have a volume to turn down the really retarded songs. As we bowled, thing number four hit me, Pete exaggerated his bowling abilities. Now don't get me wrong, he beat me, but ONLY by 28 points...may I say that I got 60 as my score.

It took us a VERY long time to bowl the one game we played due to things number five and six. The service at our bowling place was a bit slow, and the people who helped us spoke Chinese!! I was the first to notice our problem. I bowled my frame and low and behold, the next time I came around my copper bowling ball was gone!! They were eating our balls (lol john)!! Before long all 8 of our balls were gone and they were NOT coming back!! Thing number seven came into play here. I was convinced the Nazis had stolen the balls in a conspiracy plot. Obviously they were going to pummel us with the balls, there by rendering us totally helpless. My idea was scoffed up one, and Heather went to talk to the bowling guy, who she apparently knew. As she came back he followed, and spoke into the phone, which came over the loudspeaker, indecipherable to us. Pete declared it Chinese, John saying it was of the Mongolian dialect. As impressed as we were with their language abilities, we were rather disappointed that the Chinese had no apparent effect on the ball stealer. It took a good 20 minutes before our balls reappeared.

During these 20 minutes, I learned thing number eight. John and Gordon are getting married!! This was announced to us all by the happy couple. They were holding hands with their legs crossed, quite a beautiful scene. They told us they would be serving hamburgers at the wedding because "its just SO much easier!!" I offered them my congratulations, but John responded rather unkindly, informing me I wasn't invited!! So I won't be able to tell you all about the wedding, sorry. I also learned number nine, the Sikmas have a tear shaped driveway and a Pit at their house. The driveway part we learned about when I told them ours was kind of circular, which was why I hit the side of them van when I pulled out of the garage. The Pit information came when we were looking for something to do. John said we could go hang out in the Pit at their house. Number ten was that Pete has dance moves all his own. He was jamming to some insane music that people with VERY bad taste downstairs must have picked. He demonstrated, among other things, the can opener and the orange peeler.

We finished our game, during which Heather and Kris left. It was down to 6 of us, and when the games were done we just sat around talking. Number eleven was that Gordon can't sit around and chat for very long without suggesting we go do something every two minutes!! John and Pete were inclined to agree, but weren't as demanding as good ole Gordon. It was humoring Gordon that I learned number twelve. There is a large tire swing downtown!! I never knew this, and John wanted to go. I vetoed this idea, and thankfully Gordon supported me, because I didn't want to be accosted by drunk people on a swing. I'd told Pete about the Plymouth mark of coolness awhile ago on IM, and since I had a pen we very generously gave John and Pete one. Now they are truly cool.

We'd been sitting for quite some time not really doing anything, and finally we decided to pack up and go outside, hoping inspiration would strike us out there. We saw various people walking past us as we stood out there, including a dog we thought was abandoned until its owner lady came along a few minutes after. I learned number thirteen at this point. John and Pete sang Goodnight Ladies, and it turns out they're pretty good singers!! We stood for awhile longer, before I decided to call my mom and let her know we were done bowling and looking for something else to do. My mom taught me thing number fourteen. It turns out moms who aren't usually all that overprotective can catch you off guard sometimes!! She insisted upon knowing EXACTLY where we were going to go, not content with the idea of us getting into the car and just going where ever the mood struck us...go figure. This forced us into a decision. After a hurried conference, during which TPing, shaving creaming the cars at church, and various other destructive ideas were rejected, we decided to go to Red Hot. I relayed this to my mom, who agreed and asked me to call her when we got there.

We got into our vehicles, and I promptly realized that it was going to be VERY hard to get out of my spot. After trying I gave up, stopping in the small box I'd gotten myself into. Pete took pity on me and got out of his car to direct me. With his help I managed to get out of the lot. I learned thing number fifteen shortly there after. When there's a lot of lights around, its very easy for one to forget to turn their lights on. I was one of those people until we stopped at a light. John stuck his head out the door and informed me of my error. Sheepishly I turned them on.

We arrived at Red Hot around 9:30. Gordon and Scarlett ran into an older couple from their church, who seriously questioned if it wasn't past our curfew. Number sixteen was that old people have a very skewed sense of Friday night time. After gazing fixedly at the menu board for a time, we went up to the first opening in the line. The guy there told us that he only took food orders there, and to proceed down the line. We did this and were greeted by the exact same guy, who took our orders. We all got chocolate milkshakes. It was after receiving these that number seventeen was discovered. Red Hot makes TERRIBLE milkshakes. Pete said they DO make excellent pea soup though, if anyone was interested. The shakes were little more than soggy icecream. It was next to impossible to drink them through a straw, and many of us ended up opting for spoons.

We sat at the table for over an hour talking about a whole bunch of things. Pete had forgotten his camera, but luckily I had mine. We took a couple of pictures, which are sadly waiting to be developed since I don't have a digital. Pete discovered number eighteen. It turns out my camera has a timer thingie on it!! We were able to take a group picture with this innovation. The shake had made John feel slightly nauseous, so I suggested he get some water, which he did. Since he forgot to get me some, I got my own, and learned number nineteen as I returned to my table. John thinks I got dropped down the stairs when I was little!! Obviously this might be true, but he could have just told me to my face!! The water brought about number twenty. When you add water to a milkshake in effort to make it lowfat, the milk and water separate into two layers. This entertained some of us for quite some time. Scarlett and Linz decided they needed to go to the bathroom. John's theory is number twenty one. He thinks that girls bathrooms have large screen TVs in them, which accounts for the fact that girls always go in groups. Go figure!! I've never seen one, if its true!!

Around this time Pete decided it was probably time that they should be going. Since I had to be home soon too we got up and left. We ended up out in the parking lot for another little while talking. I asked John and Pete if they wanted to do the Race for the Cure, and learned number twenty two. John can't do anything next Saturday morning as he has to pick the lint out of his belly button. Pete can't because he's collecting money for the blind at the mall. Obviously I expect to see them next week Saturday. The final thing I learned that night, number twenty three, was something I tend to forget. Time flies when you're having fun!! As I glanced at my watch, I realized I was already five minutes late being home!! We all said our good byes and left.

I haven't laughed so much and so hard in a VERY long time. I can't think of a time I've seen Gordon laugh so much EVER. Scarlett and Lindsay, despite some trepidations from Gordon and I, fit in fine. Scarlett would have to admit that other than a few Looks here and there, I was VERY nice to her. Kris and Heather worked out well, too. We managed to avoid the Nazi conspiracies and didn't get kicked out of anywhere. We didn't get accosted by any drunk guys, either. I would definently say the night was a success. It was VERY fun hanging out with the Sikmas and Miskins. We'll definently have to do it again!!